Love and Emotion
As 2018 begins, and I mindfully reconcile the reality that this year I will turn 55 years old, I have tried to be more cognizant of the world around me, and the world that I assist in creating for others. Some might say, well, that’s maturity setting in, or others might simply say, finally. I like to think of it as continuing to grow, and my focus on seeking to recognize the importance that each of us has in the world and our impact on others.
Many of my friends and family members take time at the New Year to set resolutions, start some new habits, and or contemplate their place in the world, and their impacts on others, and I too have been thinking about what to focus on in this New Year., 2018
I landed on these two words that I hope will guide my this year: #SeekBeauty
#SeekBeauty in life, love, family, relationships, myself, friends, co-workers, colleagues, students, children, animals, land, air, water, food, fitness, learning, teaching, playing, being, all, #SeekBeauty
I know that #beauty is relative, and I do have many beautiful relatives, but that’s another story. What I mean by beauty in this case is to seek to understand the true, innate, beauty that is apparent in our world, that we frequently overlook, disregard, give little time to, and let slip away, when we should be appreciating it, caring and cultivating it, and bringing it into our hearts, minds and souls.
Life, love, family, relationships are the nourishment that we need to sustain our hearts, minds, souls, and yet, so many times we take for granted those that are in our lives, love us, are our family, and those whose relationships truly mean more to us than anything. There is beauty in each opportunity to grow these relationships that we must seek to appreciate. There is beauty in each conversation, touch, embrace, glance, and yet, we sometimes treat those we care the most about in the worst ways. I am seeking to see the beauty that is provided to me each day, and I hope you do the same. Notice, and appreciate each moment, and let others know you care, and see the beauty that is in them.
I am seeking to find the beauty that is in me. Yes, I might seem silly, and yet, the old question is accurate: “How can you love somebody, if you don’ love yourself?” In this case, I don’t mean in a narcissistic way, I mean to love yourself is to care for yourself. Care about what you eat, drink, do with your body. Are you moving, exercising, giving your body fresh air, water, nutrition that can help you? Are you providing your entire system with what it needs to sustain, to battle the vile parts of the world that seek to damage your body? Not one of us has the same system, so you have got to find what works for you, and then as the saying goes, #DoIt. Feed your mind, feed your heart, feed your soul.
Each of us spends time with co-workers, colleagues, clients, community, etc., and if we are wise and looking for it, there is beauty there as well. Again, this is not just a physical thing, it is in the way so many positive, good, caring people live and go about their lives. If you spend a few minutes watching the news you can quickly become filled with frustration, and disgust at many acts of a few, and yet, we frequently have hundreds of positive acts going on around us that we fail to notice by our community members. A door being opened, a friendly hello, a phone being answered, work being accomplished with service, a caring hand, a hug goodbye, are but a few of the moments that add to the beauty of the day. I challenge you, as I have challenged myself to see it, appreciate it, let it fill your heart with knowledge that people are beautiful!
Yes, the world that we live in is a beautiful place, and I also believe that it is up to us to create more beauty for our children, our students, our pets, those we care for, those who have lost the ability to see the beauty, though they still have sight. We must work to create beauty, be the best within us, and help each other #seekbeauty. I’m not sure if we will ever all get to this wonderful place that I am seeking to find, though I do believe that the journey would be a lot more pleasant if we all tried to create more beauty, and to find more beauty in each other.
Here’s hoping that you all #seekbeauty in yourself, others, and our world.
Dr. Robert A. Martinez is also known as @ResiliencyGuy He tweets, blogs, and seeks to share thoughts about the world, and our ability to empower each other with our actions, thoughts, and goals.
Spring, 2017, Sometimes, You Just Need to Breathe
Sometimes, it’s about being present in your world, and offering support to those that need it without hesitation!
Sometimes, it’s taking a moment to see the love that is in your world and making a decision to give love back to the world!
Sometimes, it’s facing a small issue that has held you back, and making a determination to persevere, that leads to massive growth!
Sometimes it’s about appreciating the life before you, recognizing that each challenge of the past led you here, and moving ahead!
Sometimes, it is about hope, belief, mindset, that help build your goals and passions. Don’t underestimate your human potential!
Sometimes, it’s not just about checking off boxes in your plan, it’s about taking a step, re-evaluating, and then stepping again!
Sometimes, it’s about taking off the limits of the world, and recognizing that every successful person is a human being like you!
Sometimes, it’s about giving trust to those in your world, so that you free yourself to grow and expand your perspective!
Sometimes, it’s about persistence, seeing the future you, and knowing that you have the power to become who you want to be!
Sometimes, it’s about igniting a passion deep within yourself, or others, so that their light within becomes a palpable guide!
Sometimes, it’s about providing others with the skills, tools, insight, to empower them to face their challenges with gusto!
Sometimes, it’s taking on a huge challenge, one step at a time, with dedication and focus, to conquer the world.
Sometimes, it’s about letting your passion soar, unleashing the burst of ideas within your head, and about hoping to connect with another person.
Sometimes, it’s about listening to your heart, mind, and soul, and you simply have to know that you made the right choice.
Sometimes, you simply need to breathe, be #mindful, and be you.
Sometimes, you might need to give yourself a good swift in the behind!
Sometimes, you need to #TakeAction right now, and don’t wait for the perfect time, because the perfect time may never come.
Dr. Robert A. Martinez, is becoming wel-known as @ResiliencyGuy across California. He focuses on building environments where children can learn and grow in peace. He speaks on Transformational Resilience, a concept that focuses providing thoughtful systems that seek to engage and support each child in their learning. You can follow him on twitter @ResiliencyGuy and @DrRobM_FSUSD and on Facebook as “Resiliency Guy.”
#POWERFUL words, #POWERFUL choices, #POWERFUL actions! Find your words to become a #Learner, #Leader, #Lifer!
Each of us is on a journey; a journey towards self-discovery, self-improvement, self-awareness, and hopefully self-actualization. While we are on our individual journies I believe that each of us has the capability to choose the words that guide us as we head towards our personal destinations. I believe that we have a responsibility to be thoughtful about those choices, and that we can effectuate positive changes in our worlds and the worlds that those we care about. I believe that if we do this we can all become expert #learners, #leaders and #lifers. Meaning, those that choose to learn, lead others, and appreciate each moment that lif has to offer.
I bring this challenge to you to focus on the words that can support you on your journey. This challenge would be to take a look at the picture below that contains a number of words that I have dubbed #POWERFUL words, and to make some choices for yourself. Choose the words that reflect who you are as a #POWERFUL person. Maybe you are a #learner, a #leader, or a #lifer, like me, or maybe you are simply seeking to be a little better than the day before, or quite possibly you are seeking to change the world with your magical powers. I think that no matter which level your journey is on that you can choose to make it a #POWERFUL one by forcusing on the words that give you your internal power.
For me, my current set of words includes: #Positive, #Outstanding, #Wise, #Empowered, #Resilient, #Forthright, #Unbelievable, and #Loving. Let me explain:
#Positive: Each moment of each day I choose my attitude. I choose to be positive, to look on the bright side, to relish the good that occurs in front of my eyes, and then I seek out the good that might go overlooked. Sometimes its the simplest of actions that people, I don’t even know do, such as holding a door for someone, or picking up a piece of trash that lays before them, to witnessing the engagement of an exceptional educator who is guiding the development of a group of students and educators all day long.
#Outstanding: As I maneuver through my day I seek to be a shining light to those that might catch a glimpse of me in action. Not that I need to be the star of the show, but it’ that I feel a sense of responsibility to seek to be my best for the people I serve. I strive to give others an authentic look at how I go through life with what I hope are exceptional behaviors, actions, and positivity. I want to get that smile from an onlooker. I want to include people in my life. I seek to engage, and be present in what I hope is a memorable way towards the good.
#Wise: I have had the opportunity to learn many life lessons, to become a learned man, to build a set of skills that guide my decisions and actions. I learned these things from life, from my parents, from those in my lives, from my teachers, from my colleagues, my children, and if I don’t act with regard of these lessons that I have learned, then I think that I wouldn’t give justice to these life experiences. I want to be thoughtful, be cognizant of the intelligence I have, use it for good, and allow my thoughts and actions to demonstrate who I truly am.
#Empowered: It is my life. It is my choice. It is my heart, mind, and soul, that creates me, so it becomes a real action to be empowered through myself. If I were allow myself to be only directed by others, would that be enough? If I allowed myself to be swayed one way or another because of popular belief or persuasion or group mentality, would that be enough? I think not! To be empowered is to be aware, to know you have choices, then to choose consciously, and to let yourself recognize that you have independent thought and have acted on your own accord.
#Resilient: If you know me at all, you know that at my inner core, the issues of resilience ignite my life. Having the capability to come up against adversity, then to battle, fight, overcome, be the relentless individual that I can be, to persevere through any hardship that presents itself, is truly a learned skill set that I use each and every day. I also seek to help others recognize that they too have experienced resilience, and that each of our minds are afforded opportunities continuously to overcome the roadblocks paced before us. This power word is essential to my and my development, and for me represents a deep commitment to living.
#Forthright: While there is always the need for tact and courtesy in providing information to people, especially information that might not be seen as positive to all ears, none of us have time to beat around the bush or to engage in miscommunication about important issues, topics, concepts, or with feedback that is designed to improve the lot of children, their parents, or those that work to build communities. So, to me, I feel a need to know my stuff, to know my positions, to know what I want to have occur, and then to work to communicate effectively with those that have interest or motivation to make things better. I find that by being thoughtful in my approach I am better able to hold crucial conversations with those in my life.
#Unbelievable: Our world is filled with common and general experiences. Going to get gas in our cars, stopping by the grocery store to pick up a few things, or maybe even making a quick pit stop on a long journey to take care of business, are several of those common experiences. I want to give people an unbelievable experience when I am with them. Maybe it’s with my greeting, maybe its my customer service, maybe its just offering a warm hand to shake, or possibly its by exceeding someone’s expectations in a meeting, offering just a bit more that they were thinking our conversation would provide to them, or by busting out in a little song to lighten the mood. It isn’t always about showmanship, but the style in the show that you decide to provide.
#Loving: I care about people. I truly want each person to succeed in their lives, and and I strive to be a loving person in my interactions with others. I love having an opportunity to work with people, to communicate with others, and to work in the education arena, where what we all do on a daily basis matters, and supports our shared future world. I love my family, my friends, my career, and my life. I love it! I am a #LIFER! What I mean by this is that I work to focus on the precious moments that I am given, and value the good and difficult moments that occur in my day, and I hope that you will join me in loving your life.
The beauty of engaging in a process such as this and reflecting on the #POWERFUL words presented in this challenge, is that you do not need to choose my words! You can choose your own. You also do not need to choose words that I have provided as you can add your own. Your choice, your power, your actions, your opportunities to grow yourself, and then your opportunity to work to build the #POWERFUL attributes in each person that are in your world. Think about it, if each person you know actually focused on choosing their words, and enhancing their powers, then worked to build themselves up, and then focusd their energies to build the powers of others in their worlds, then we could actually instigate a dynamic change to our collective world by simply building on the super powers we all have to improve the world!
Rob Martinez, Ed.D. is known as @ResiliencyGuy and AKA @DrRobM_FSUSD on twitter, and can bfound as “Resiliency Guy” on Facebook. He is becoming well known for his presentations on Transformational Resilience across California, and serves the Fairfield-Suisun Unified School District as the Assistant Superintendent of Human Resources.
When stress and anxiety are provided a window of opportunity into your heart, mind, soul and body, they quickly focusing on creating imbalance in your world in order to be able to invite their close friends depression, anger and frustration to the party. Seeking to find and keep your balance, and allowing your resilience to support you in moving forward, are ways to limit these windows of opportunity that tend to pull us even farther off the balance we seek.
Is there a sure-fire way to avoid stress, anxiety and their friends from attempting to tilt you over? Of course not, and yet, if you take action on several or all of these steps to build your resilience skills you will be better able to walk tall, keep your alignment more steady, and ward off these mental beasts that seek to tear you down.
A few simple excercises to stay in balance:
-Be thankful: Yes, be aware of what has been provided to you, what you have access to, and that you can use to take care of yourself. Be it food, shelter, clothes, or even crumbs, consider that you have something. If you have family, loved ones, a job, a place to call home, a place to visit, you have something to be thankful for, and
-Be kind: Taking a moment or two to provide an act of kindness, to care for someone else, or to provide something to someone that needs a pick-me-up.
-Be active: By getting your body going (walk, jog, run, ride, bend, stretch…) you inform each and every cell of your body that you are alive. You let your whole system know that this life must be lived, that you want to be part, and that you are readying yourself for your next great adventure.
–Be present: If you work, be at work, and take care of the things that work calls for without allowing yourself to be engaged in, for lack of a better word, “DRAMA” that pulls you away from your work. If you are at home, be at home, be there for those that need and depend on you, yes, that is your life, these are the people you love, and they deserve the very best of you each opportunity you have to be with them. By being present, you remain an active part of your life, their lives, and show them the way to engage, stay in control, remain calm, fight your way through, and to be ready for a new day!
–Build your skills: Personal, professional, creative, or even athletic skills must be targeted and focused on. If you recognize you should, and want to improve in a given area, you must put in the work to advance your skills. If it’s by becoming a better person, well, maybe you start by reading a little blog such as this, or it’s by taking a class, or it’s just by having a conversation with someone you know. If it’s professional, again, focus on the area of need, target that specific skill set you have identified, and get yourself going. If you want to develop a new part of yourself, there are literally millions of ways to “Google” it, and then take action. It is your life, you are the lead of your own show, and you can modify the script as you see fit.
BOLD CRAZY SENTENCE: You, are only the you, you believe yourself to be, and if you want to be a new you, well then identify a path, take a step towards your journey, and seek to become the new you you long for!
Here’s hoping that you each find your balance, that you seek to engage in being: thankful, kind, active, present, and that you build your skills accordingly. While I can’t guarantee that the stress and anxiety won’t be able to find you if you engage in these behaviors I can tell you with assurance that you will have more skills at hand in your resilience tool kit if you do, and that you will be more able to right yourself should you feel yourself tilting one way or another.
So, with that, Happy Thanksgiving to each and everyone, and I do hope that you reflect and plan on bringing the best you to each and every day. Remember, some of the best days of your life may have not happened yet.
Dr. Martinez is the Assistant Superintendent of Human Resources for the Fairfield-Suisun Unified School District and is also known as @ResiliencyGuy on @twitter. He can be found on Facebook at “Resiliency Guy” and is Co-Moderator of #Resiliencechat that occurs each Monday, at 7:00 PST on @Twitter
My focus is on #Resilience development, and my concept is simple to comprehend. I believe that each person has the capability to support others with developing #resilience skills. I also firmly believe that it is an obligation for adults, especially educators, to build environments for children, and especially their students, that foster the development of the latent ability to be #resilient that resides in each child.
I believe that there are steps that each person can take to support the advancement of #resilience skills, and this simple graphic is representative of those actions that can be taken to build these skills in our children.
Ask yourself these questions and reflect if you are taking steps to build or hinder #resilience development:
1. Am I acting to #engage my students? Meaning, Am I offering relevant interactions that are intended to build their skills, knowledge, creativity and innovation skills?
2. Am I offering #positivity to my students? Meaning, Am I focused on the growth, the development, the advancement of my students, while providing authentic meaningful feedback that encourages my students and inspires them?
3. Am I being #thoughtful in my approach with my student? Meaning, Am I considerate of the unique needs and interests of my students, and I am reflective in my process, and then, in turn, able to be flexible in my approach to connecting with them as individuals?
4. Am I #supportive towards each of my students no matter what? Meaning, no matter the needs, no matter their behaviors, no matter the trauma that they may have been exposed to, do you accept them, without reservation, and do you recognize that they deserve the best you can be?
I believe that working to support our children is the most important work that can be accomplished by educators, parents, and adults. If we don’t, who will? If we don’t act, how will our children learn and grow? If we don’t accept this responsibility, act as mature, well-functioning adults, how in the world can we expect our children to become more advanced well-functioning adults? It is that important! It is the most essential work that we can do! It is up to each of us to build environments for children where they can grow, flourish, and activate the latent ability to be resilien! Please join me in this effort to help our children grow in peace!
Dr. Rob Martinez is the Assistant Superintendent of Human Resources for the Fairfield-Suisun Unified School District, and is a proponent of supporting #resilience development in all of our learning environments. He would be happy to assist you and your schools in building and fostering environments where #TransformationalResilience can grow!
You can follow Dr. Rob at @ResiliencyGuy on #twitter as well.
Sometimes you need to be reflective on work that you have done in order to think, consider, and grow. Today, I was reminded that the sometimes of our lives are the right here, right nows! Please take time to tell those in your world that you love that they mean the world to you! We do not always get to plan our tomorrow’s, and we need to always be aware of our here and now, and don’t wait for your sometimes!
“Sometimes” by Resiliency Guy #Resiliency Sometimes its about being present in your world, and offering support to those that need it without hesitation! #Resiliency Someti…
Take a moment and consider your current understanding of the word “Resilience.”
Do you consider your understanding of #resilience to be deep, or surface level? It seems that in our day-to-day culture the word has become more of a descriptor of character or action, rather than as a true understanding that the word more accurately describes a person’s ability to persevere through an adversity, a challenge, a trauma, a life-changing circumstance, and to demonstrate a strength in their resolve that comes from the experience.
What is true #resilience?
It’s not just about winning a sporting event, or getting through a test, or even making it through a day. It’s more about having and demonstrating the ability to recognize that whatever the adversity was, or is, was more than likely not a personal descriptor of the individual experiencing that adversity, but something that has occurred to them, that they have dealt with, and have learned from. Resilience is about overcoming, battling through, surviving, and growing from adversity, and limiting the negative impacts from derailing future success for that person.
What does research say?
Researchers have recognized the ability of an individual to reframe events so that they do not internalize them, and use the adversity as a means for growth and success. For many people these challenges are recognized as launching pads for new ideas, new strategies, new ways of acting, or for new ways to limit the impact of adversity from negatively affecting themselves any longer. The stories are numerous of those individuals who have come through adversity, and who then have not only improved their lives, but the lives of others.
Further, it has been found that those that demonstrate resilience tend to have a firm locus-of-control on where the problem exists, how it came about, and they are able to distance themselves from the trauma. Now, this doesn’t mean that people don’t feel the pain from trauma, or are not affected by it, yet they tend not to own it, ruminate over it, and allow it to remain in their frontal lobe exhausting their energy, resources, thought process, or ability to move forward.
So, if the ability to maintain a powerful locus of control, and to reframe events to be able to limit their negative affects on us are two assets that can be utilized to build resilience, then why wouldn’t we seek to support the development of these skills in our children and each other. If people can learn to reframe, if they can distance or remove themselves from traumatic events, then they have more of an opportunity to demonstrate resilience, and to enhance this skill for when they will need it in the future.
We know that one person’s challenge is another person’s trauma, and that each person may react differently to the same circumstances, and in turn may react on different timelines to trauma, and this makes the point even more important that we must seek to build the resilience of our children, and each other, each day, for we never really know when the next traumatic event might initiate a down-turn for ourselves or someone in our world.
Let’s build each other up! Let’s build skills in each of our children! Let’s build resources in our communities! Let’s share the message of supporting the development of Resilience skills in our children! Let’s focus our energies on engaging, supporting, and providing the healthiest environments that we can for all of our children!
Are you with me? I hope so!
Robert A. Martinez, Ed.D, @ResiliencyGuy on Facebook: ResiliencyGuy
Dr. Martinez is the Assistant Superintendent of Human Resources in the Fairfield-Suisun Unified School District, and has been focusing on building the idea of Transformational Resilience in people, our schools and our communities. He also co-moderates #Resiliencechat on #twitter each Monday night at 7:00 PM PST.